In October of 2019, my alarm sounded at 6:00A.M. I anxiously got out of bed and carried my two heavy suitcases up the basement stairs. Koda, our family dog, was sitting in the kitchen, maybe a little confused at what was happening. I looked back and ran over to him, giving him one last big hug.
Although new adventures were waiting, the drive to the MTC was rather bittersweet. While each of our minds were predicting the uncertain future, the car remained silent. It was hard, but for some reason I felt as if everything was going to be okay. Perhaps it wasn’t the first time I had to say a difficult goodbye.
Before we came here, we lived as spirits with our Heavenly Father. We enjoyed the company of our families as well as close friends. We also knew that one day, we would be tested. A poem titled “I’ll Find You My Friend” explains my thoughts about family missionary work so perfectly:
I was thinking about our friendship, and these are my feelings:
In heaven we were the best of friends.
We did everything together.
One day, a grand council was called in heaven.
We knew it was an important event.
Everyone was there --
Moses, Noah and Jesus Christ.
Father presented a plan,
And we voted for Christ to be our Savior.
After the council, we ran to get in line
To receive our life package.
In the bustle, we were separated.
I received my package and ran to you.
You were sitting under a tree.
We opened our packages,
Mine said I would be born at a time
When the gospel was restored to the earth.
It said that I would have good parents,
And the fullness of the gospel in my home.
I jumped for joy and we hugged each other.
You were so happy for me. Then you read yours.
I saw the tears in your eyes and I asked what was wrong?
You said that you would also be born when the gospel was restored,
But said that you would be born in a different place,
And the gospel would not be in your home.
You looked me straight in the eye and said:
Friend, find me!
No matter what it takes or the trials you have to endure,
FIND ME,
And bring me the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I believe that each of us was eager to embark on our assignment. We trusted that with His help, we could turn our weaknesses into strengths thus becoming better instruments in his hands.
Trust really is so powerful. It is impossible to gain it without being vulnerable first. Trust requires an act of faith before any “results” are seen. READ ETHER 12:27
When my plane first landed in Peru, I only saw dirt and bricks. I didn’t understand. Just a couple days previous, I looked up my mission and saw green hills, a tropical jungle, and many old ruins. I even thought that on my preparation days I could take a short trip to Machu Picchu. As I stood in the baggage claim area with my group, I tried to comprehend what in the world I had signed myself up for. At this point in the day, I had been awake for over twenty-three hours. However, somehow the shock of seeing a different country kept me going. Shortly, the office elders found us and loaded our luggage into their van. Looking out the car window, I saw stray dogs all over, taxis ignoring traffic rules, and laundry hanging from the roofs of unfinished, brick buildings.
When I met with my mission president, I was so relieved. He spoke English, and there was no way he was going to send me out to tract. I was also pretty darn-confident that he was going to put me with a North-American trainer. Well forty-five minutes later, I was out tracting with my Chilean companion. I was terrified. I didn’t know how to communicate nor be a missionary. I felt so inadequate.
The next twelve weeks were a huge challenge. I wrote in my journal religiously, and finished a good number of entries with “maybe tomorrow will be better.” It was during this time, where I was forced to reflect on why I was going to stay. My motivation for coming out was almost selfish. My reasons for serving somehow all circled back to benefitting me. Now, while this got me out in the field, it was most definitely not going to allow me to stay. I knew I wanted to finish what I had started, so I started to make some changes. My prayers started to become more genuine as I felt more comfortable being honest. My scripture study meant more to me as it was my way to receive answers from prayers. And the people whom I served with started to become some of my dearest friends. By doing the small things, life started to become a bit easier. Instead of merely surviving the day, I looked forward to the challenge. By placing my trust in Heavenly Father and giving him my all, he helped me to better help others.
Two friends of mine demonstrated their trust in Heavenly Father so boldly, that I would like to share their story.
As I was working in San Roque, I met a young man by the name of Piero. At the time, he was called to be the second counselor in the ward. However, because of his service, I thought he was a ward missionary. Several times throughout the week he would accompany my companion and I to appointments. It was amazing not only to see his commitment to missionary work, but also his trust in the Lord. His sister was diagnosed with cancer and despite the difficult circumstance he always showed up with a smile.
After two months of working together, Piero introduced me to his friend Luis. In our first appointment, Luis expressed a strong desire to change just how Piero did. He noticed the good in his friend, and wanted the same for himself and his future family. As a month passed, Luis progressed and soon accepted a baptismal date. However, during that same time frame Piero’s sister was given a short time frame to live by her doctors.
The situation was hard. Luis supported Piero through this difficult time, but he himself was also struggling seeing his friend lose his sister. In an appointment with the two of them, we chose to talk about eternal families. At first, I was a little hesitant to start as I knew it was such a sensitive topic. Halfway through, Luis teared up and asked how it was fair to his best friend to have a trial this heavy. I was so sad, I didn’t really know what to say. There were a few moments of silence until Sister Anderson shared one of her personal stories and testified of God’s plan. The Spirit was so strong and continued to be present as we read the following verse of scripture in Ether:
27 And I soon go to the place of my arest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall brest. And I rejoice in the day when my cmortal shall put on dimmortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the emansions of my Father. Amen.
While this spiritual experience did not remove the cancer, it did give us strength. Trusting in God is hard, and sometimes bad things do happen to really good people. However, it is through this same trust that we find true joy. We have the privilege of knowing that we will someday live in His mansion with our family. Testifying of eternal families that day meant so much; more than it had ever meant. The doctrine we know does change lives. It allows us to see from an eternal perspective when the view from an earthly perspective is too difficult to bear.
I definitely had to change my perspective when I was sent home due to the pandemic. I tried everything in my power to stay in Peru. I loved it there. The devotion I saw in the members was real, almost tangible. It was empowering to face challenges and overcome them. I didn’t want my mission to end so soon. I wasn’t ready.
The night we received the call from our mission president informing us that all North-American missionaries would return home was shocking. Both me and my companion layed in bed for over twenty minutes without saying a word. When I got up, I started to pace but quickly found my planner. It was 6:10p.m on Monday and we still needed to plan the rest of the night. We had scheduled two appointments, and we couldn’t just cancel so we followed through with them. Once we finished, we were very emotionally drained.
Taking a blanket, flashlight and our scriptures we headed up to our roof. We both expressed how unmotivated we felt and decided it was best to call our mission president. In tears, I told him how badly I wanted to stay and how hopeless I felt. I asked him for help, and he said he couldn’t give that to me, but there was one other that could. Heavenly Father. He challenged us to randomly open our scriptures and read until we found something. Reluctantly, I headed back down to our room and found my Book of Mormon. On my knees, I remember saying one of my most heartfelt prayers. We flipped open to Mosiah 27 and read the following:
Nevertheless he cried again, saying: Alma, arise and stand forth, for why persecutest thou the church of God? For the Lord hath said: aThis is my church, and I will establish it; and nothing shall boverthrow it, save it is the transgression of my people.
14 And again, the angel said: Behold, the Lord hath aheard the prayers of his people, and also the bprayers of his servant, Alma, who is thy father; for he has cprayed with much faith concerning thee that thou mightest be brought to the dknowledge of the truth; therefore, for this purpose have I come to econvince thee of the power and authority of God, that the fprayers of his servants might be answered according to their faith.
I had read these verses many times without much thought, but this time when I read them it was different. It seemed as if God was speaking directly to me. I knew God had heard my prayer, understood exactly what I felt, and was going to take care of those who were ready to receive His Gospel. A huge feeling of peace came over me, and a tad-bit of hope entered my mind.
Months later, this experience would teach me many lessons in retrospect. God’s plans do not, nor ever will change. The more we fight them, the more time we waste refusing his grace. Before I left Peru, I was so worried about who was going to teach my amigos. But one thing I should have remembered was that he never forgets us. He loves us so much. We were once a big family, and He desires all of us to return.
During my time home in April, I was very reluctant to submit my papers again. I was prideful. I thought that no mission would be the same as Peru, and no other assignment would be its equal. I distinctly remember going into my closet and pulling out my patriarchal blessing- hoping to read something very clear and explicit instructions regarding my future as a missionary. Well, folks I got it loud and clear. In my blessing a line stood out to me with such a powerful effect that I could not deny the power behind it. I needed to go, and I did. The night I received my call, I was so excited. I was reassigned to the Atlanta Georgia North Mission. One that very well equaled Peru. When I received my call, I was so excited. Earlier that morning, I had checked my emails I received while I was in quarantine in Peru and read one from my Grandpa that said “well, wouldn’t it be cool if you served in Georgia.” No wonder my assignment sounded familiar. Not only that “coincidence”, but my Uncle was also serving in Georgia. And a few months later into my mission, I would find my aunt’s friend ( who I had been told about from my time in Peru) who was interested in the church.
Now, while I was very excited to start my mission in Georgia, I was also very hesitant as I knew many changes were ahead of me. The first couple of months were hard and took a very strong hit to my mental health. I wasn’t sure why I needed to stay when most of the day we were in our houses. I missed seeing people and the urgency I had felt while I was in Peru. In May, I was very depressed and needed to make a change. My companion, Sister Pitzak at the time, had kept a gratitude journal and I thought I would do the same. I started writing out three things I was grateful for each day on my calendar. The first month was hard. But, each month that followed, it became more difficult to find space. There were so many things to be grateful for.I started to feel true joy as gratitude became my main focus.
I learned to be grateful for my opportunity to pioneer new missionary work. With time, we saw our mission double its success. Even though we were not allowed to tract, the work moved forward. Through FB we found people, and through service we represented our Savior. Sometimes, it was difficult to see the results of our labor. But just as we were about to give up, He always stepped in and led us to the elect. I had an experience in November of last year that I would love to read to you from my journal entries.
As usual, for the first Sunday in the month we were all invited to share our testimonies. As I was sitting in the congregation, I couldn't help feeling a little sad. One of our amigas told us that she could come to church, but then canceled at the last minute.
After the meeting concluded, I went over to go talk to my mission leader's family. As we discussed the plans for the upcoming week, we were interrupted by a young woman who I didn't recognize. In a hushed voice, she told me that an investigator was here. I looked over to where she was pointing and couldn't believe it. The woman she was referring to, had shared her testimony.
Without really thinking, we quickly made our way over to introduce ourselves. But, before I could say a word, she looked at me and asked If I was Anna. In COMPLETE shock, I replied yes. She told us that an hour prior to the meeting she had gone to a different church to find the Spanish service. Realizing that she had the wrong direction and time, she asked a man for more information. This man ( whoever he was - still don’t know his name) gave her the full names of both me and my companion and told her that she would find us there at 2pm. She even had a paper with both of our full names and the direction of the church! What the heck? Could this get any better?! Well it does.
After visiting with her for a couple minutes, she told us that she had been investigating our church for a while now and felt like it was the right one. Not only that, but also she knew she had a calling for service and it could be fulfilled in this church. I have never met someone so elect. She even set up her own appointment for this Thursday.
I feel so humbled to know that the Lord trusts us enough to help this woman and her family find His gospel. And boy do I know for a fact that the Lord really does trust those who are willing to place their will in His. God really does care for each one of us.
At first I thought missionary work was only focused on baptisms, but I was wrong. Baptism is only the step to having an eternal family. My last week in Georgia I had the opportunity to talk to a young girl in Venezuela over whatsapp. Her family was separated, and her dad was in the U.S. trying to save enough money to bring her home. Initially, our intention was to teach her English. However, within five minutes or so I noticed something wasn’t right. I asked her if she was okay and she immediately broke down in tears. She hadn’t seen her father in eighteen months and said that her dad was only talking to her barely once a week. Testified of Heavenly Father. Again, eternal families. Sometimes the family situations aren’t perfect, but our Heavenly parents are.
Testify of the B.O.M.’
Unselfish service
Enabling power of the atonement
It is by serving others that we experience true joy.
Grateful for the support and leadership I have been shown by my parents & family, mission president, past companions and friends.
A mission is a strange experience
It is a trial and a test
A mission throws at you the worst
Yet, it teaches you the best.
I've never been so happy,
I've never been so depressed
I've never felt so forsaken,
I've never felt so blessed
I've never been so confused
Things have never been so clear
I've never felt my Heavenly Father so distant,
He's never been so near
I've never been so discouraged,
I've never been so full of hope
I feel I could go on forever
I think I've come to the end of my rope.
I've never had it quite so easy,
I've never had it quite so tough.
Things have never been so smooth,
Things have never been so rough.
I've never traveled through more valleys,
I've never ascended more peaks.
I've never met so many nice people
I've never met so many freaks!
I've never had so many ups,
I've never had so many downs.
Ive never worn so many smiles,
I've never had so many frowns.
I've never been so lonely,
I've never had so many friends.
BOY, I hope this is over soon.
Gosh, I hope this never ends
